[martyp]

Actually, no. I want to take this a little farther.

As parents and care-givers we really do try to do our best, but we are also sensitive, stressed, frustrated people. Sometimes we do not act in ways that give us lasting pride. We want our children to be intelligent, polite, considerate, responsible and disciplined persons, and we try to lead by example.

Nevertheless, as humans we succumb to our frailties and will react in ways we would never teach our children to react. Whether it's the spank on the bum, or the forceful plunking on the bed for a time-out, most of us have walked away from an episode feeling shamed. And that's the yardstick!

None of us need the approval of anyone else here of our parenting strategies. Deep down we know if we feel bad about how we handled a situation. We may all have gone to bed with moistened eyes over a regrettably managed episode. Wonderful!! Sensitive, emotional beings are proved by such moments.

If we walk away from the situation feeling saddened that we had to do what we did, but not uncomfortable, then we know we've been active and responsible. If we walk away feeling guilty and needing justification, then we've just had a learning, growing experience, (and NOT for the child). But parenting is learning, for both the child and the grown-up, and learning can't take place in the absence of mistakes.

The bottom line of my tiresome post... let your gut determine the appropriateness of the punishment, not the members of this forum.