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Old 11-11-2007   #1
turtle22
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Default more jokes about men

Q: What is that insensitive bit at the base of the penis called?
A: The man.

Q: Why do men have a hole in their penis?
A: So they can think with an open mind.

Q: What can Life Savers do that man can't?
A: Come in five flavors.

Q: How is a penis like fishing?
A: The small ones you throw back, the medium ones you eat, and the larger ones you mount.

Q: What do a clitoris, an anniversary and a toilet have in common?
A: Men usually miss all three.

Q: What is the difference between medium and rare?
A: 6 inches is medium, 8 inches is rare.

Q: How can you tell if a man is sexually excited?
A: He is breathing.

Q: What is a man's idea of foreplay?
A: A half-hour of begging.

Q: Why do men like love at first sight?
A: It saves them a lot of time.

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Men are like newborn babies.
They're cute at first, but you get tired of picking up their crap.

Men are like coffee.
The best ones are rich, hot and can keep you up all night.

Men are like computers.
Hard to figure out and never enough memory.

Men are like coolers.
Load them with beer and you can take them anywhere.

Men are like chocolate bars.
Sweet, smooth and they usually head right for your hips.

Men are like power tools.
They make a lot of noise, but it's hard to get them to work.

Men are like remote controls.
Simple. Easy to use. And usually lying around a TV.

Men are like shag carpets.
Soft, fuzzy and extremely easy to walk on.

Men are like vacuum cleaners.
They're not much fun, but at least you get to push them around.

Men are like road kill.
They usually just lie around until they start to smell.

Men are like soap operas.
They're fun to watch, but don't believe everything you hear.

Men are like pillows.
Eventually, even the best ones get soft and lumpy.

Men are like old car tires.
Balding, full of hot air, and it never hurts to have a spare.

Men are like plastic wrap.
Cheap. Clingy. And very easy to see through.

Men are like department stores.
Their clothes should always be half off.

Men are like horoscopes.
They always tell you what to do and are usually wrong.

Men are like cement.
After getting laid, they take a long time to get hard.

Men are like plungers.
They spend most of their lives in a hardware store or the bathroom
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