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Old 04-19-2007   #1
babyhuggies
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Talking Gotta Love Da' Newfies

President George Bush was in the Oval Office wondering which country to
invade next, when his telephone rang.
"Hallo der', President Bush" a heavily accented voice said. Dis' is Archie,
up'ere at the Harp Seal Pub in Badger's Cove, Newfoundland, Canada
eh?
I am callin' to tells ya dat we are officially declaring war on ya, eh!"
"Well Archie," George replied, "This is indeed important news! How big is
your army?"
"Right now," said Archie, after a moments calculation "there is myself,
me
cousin Harold, me next-door-neighbour Mick, and the whole dart
team from the pub. That makes eight!"
George paused. "I must tell you Archie, that I have one million men in
my
army waiting to move on my command."
"Holy jeez," said Archie. "I'll have ta call ya back!"
Sure enough, the next day, Archie called again. "Mr. Bush, the war is
still
on! We have managed to acquire some infantry equipment!"
"And what equipment would that be Archie?", George asked.
"Well sir, we have two combines, a bulldozer, and Harry's farm tractor."
President Bush sighed. "I must tell you Archie, that I have 16,000 tanks
and
14,000 armoured personnel carriers. Also, I've increased
my army to one and a half million since we last spoke."
"Lard T'underin' Jaysus, bye", said Archie, "I'll be getting back to ya."
Sure enough, Archie rang again the next day. "President Bush, the war is
still
on! We have managed to git ourselves airborne! We up an' modified
Harrigan's ultra-light wit a couple of shotguns in the cockpit, and
four byes from the Legion have joined us as well!"
George was silent for a minute then cleared his throat. "I must tell you
Archie
that I have 10,000 bombers and 20,000 fighter planes. My military
complex is surrounded by laser-guided, surface-to-air missile sites. And
since we last spoke, I've increased my army to TWO MILLION!"
"Jeysus, Mary and Joseph," said Archie,"I'll have ta call youse back."
Sure enough, Archie called again the next day. "President Bush! I am
sorry
to have to tell you dat we have had to call off dis 'ere war."
"I'm sorry to hear that" said George. "Why the sudden change of heart?"
"Well, sir," said Archie, "we've all sat ourselves down and had a long
chat
over a bunch of pints, and come to realize dat dere's no way
we can feed two million prisoners."
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Old 04-19-2007   #2
carol
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Canada/USA

Quote:
Originally Posted by babyhuggies View Post
President George Bush was in the Oval Office wondering which country to
invade next, when his telephone rang.
"Hallo der', President Bush" a heavily accented voice said. Dis' is Archie,
up'ere at the Harp Seal Pub in Badger's Cove, Newfoundland, Canada
eh?
I am callin' to tells ya dat we are officially declaring war on ya, eh!"
"Well Archie," George replied, "This is indeed important news! How big is
your army?"
"Right now," said Archie, after a moments calculation "there is myself,
me
cousin Harold, me next-door-neighbour Mick, and the whole dart
team from the pub. That makes eight!"
George paused. "I must tell you Archie, that I have one million men in
my
army waiting to move on my command."
"Holy jeez," said Archie. "I'll have ta call ya back!"
Sure enough, the next day, Archie called again. "Mr. Bush, the war is
still
on! We have managed to acquire some infantry equipment!"
"And what equipment would that be Archie?", George asked.
"Well sir, we have two combines, a bulldozer, and Harry's farm tractor."
President Bush sighed. "I must tell you Archie, that I have 16,000 tanks
and
14,000 armoured personnel carriers. Also, I've increased
my army to one and a half million since we last spoke."
"Lard T'underin' Jaysus, bye", said Archie, "I'll be getting back to ya."
Sure enough, Archie rang again the next day. "President Bush, the war is
still
on! We have managed to git ourselves airborne! We up an' modified
Harrigan's ultra-light wit a couple of shotguns in the cockpit, and
four byes from the Legion have joined us as well!"
George was silent for a minute then cleared his throat. "I must tell you
Archie
that I have 10,000 bombers and 20,000 fighter planes. My military
complex is surrounded by laser-guided, surface-to-air missile sites. And
since we last spoke, I've increased my army to TWO MILLION!"
"Jeysus, Mary and Joseph," said Archie,"I'll have ta call youse back."
Sure enough, Archie called again the next day. "President Bush! I am
sorry
to have to tell you dat we have had to call off dis 'ere war."
"I'm sorry to hear that" said George. "Why the sudden change of heart?"
"Well, sir," said Archie, "we've all sat ourselves down and had a long
chat
over a bunch of pints, and come to realize dat dere's no way
we can feed two million prisoners."
a good one carol
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Old 04-22-2007   #3
chantel
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Thats pretty neat!
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Old 04-22-2007   #4
aamandaa
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Default that was great

I love the newfie jokes, they are always so cute and just plain funny. Thanks for that one
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Old 04-22-2007   #5
bcnewfie
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I married a newfie so all my inlaws and friends for that matter are newfs. love the joke

PS We need a newfie flag at the bottom
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Old 05-11-2007   #6
ameliamarie
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lol love this joke =)
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Old 05-14-2007   #7
cinderella
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Very funny!
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