Parents - whats your opinion on.....

[turtle22]

Spanking?



I think its not a huge deal. It should not be used with every single punishment, but for some situations it is necessary.

[Miss Cristy]

I think as long as it is controlled, that it is not a problem. Many situations can be resolved with discussions or a time out... but in those times when all other means have failed, sometimes a small spank will get your message across.

[cheetah]

A good swat on the butt never hurt anyone. When all else fails, and you mean business, I think it is ok. Especially if it is through a diaper. Once my kids where out of diapers I was no longer needed. If I simply told them that they had hurt my feeling and that seemed to be enough. I would never encourage abuse towards anyone, but sometimes I wish some other mothers in the shopping malls would get control of their kids and if that means a pat on the butt then so be it. Just get control of the little rug rats!

[liljj07]

cheetah I thought you said you only had one kid tho? I am so cofuzzled ..... But even tho I am not a parent I am a baby-sitter and I think just like the others said when all else fails its a pat on the bum.... with most of the baby-sitting I do the parents say don't be afraid to... if they won't listen but i have never had to. Once i faked it as a joke But really claped my hands behind the persons back to make te other think Before they act.

[martyp]

This is one of those threads where I wish that I were a member of the forum as an individual and not representing a company. I must always be aware of how anything I say can come back to bite me or the firm.

However, I will go so far as to say that as a parent I certainly understand how the smallest of people can push our buttons and shove us to the edge... but I also want to point out everybody's use of phrases like "a pat on the bum", "a small spank", "a pat on the butt". It looks to me like we're choosing our words to lighten the action, as though we know that when we let push come to shove we guiltily acknowledge that we've not lived up to the standards of conflict resolution that we hope to teach.

[martyp]

Actually, no. I want to take this a little farther.

As parents and care-givers we really do try to do our best, but we are also sensitive, stressed, frustrated people. Sometimes we do not act in ways that give us lasting pride. We want our children to be intelligent, polite, considerate, responsible and disciplined persons, and we try to lead by example.

Nevertheless, as humans we succumb to our frailties and will react in ways we would never teach our children to react. Whether it's the spank on the bum, or the forceful plunking on the bed for a time-out, most of us have walked away from an episode feeling shamed. And that's the yardstick!

None of us need the approval of anyone else here of our parenting strategies. Deep down we know if we feel bad about how we handled a situation. We may all have gone to bed with moistened eyes over a regrettably managed episode. Wonderful!! Sensitive, emotional beings are proved by such moments.

If we walk away from the situation feeling saddened that we had to do what we did, but not uncomfortable, then we know we've been active and responsible. If we walk away feeling guilty and needing justification, then we've just had a learning, growing experience, (and NOT for the child). But parenting is learning, for both the child and the grown-up, and learning can't take place in the absence of mistakes.

The bottom line of my tiresome post... let your gut determine the appropriateness of the punishment, not the members of this forum.

[martyp]

Then again, I frequently enjoy gnawing the eye-stalks off of forest snails...

:o

[Guardian]

No offense, but kids this generation are by far the worst of them all. Like seriously, some of these kids nowadays are so out of control its unbelievable what their parents are doing. I see 5 year olds swearing, like what is that? Some kids are straight from hell. Some parents just neglect their kids, which is sad actually. But that's not to say that they are all bad, some kids are amazingly generous. Precious even.

Honestly, kids should be shown whose in authority, I wouldn't resort to spanking but if verbal approach won't reach them, well then, spanking might be the option I'm looking for. But I'm no parent, I don't know what it feels like so I'll stop it here.

But just like Mr. I-refuse-to-wear-a-thong (sorry) said, each parent has his or her own way of "punishment" and that is indeed a learning process.

I don't have kids of my own (thank god) but I have a 7 year old step sister and a 3 year old step brother, and watching them grow up I've learned quite a few things. Yes, my parents did 'spank' them, a few 'nudges' here and there, but it was for the good. My step sister used to be a bad kid, like really bad, it was ridiculous. And thats when parents started setting boundaries and showed 'whose boss' and now she's an angel. Lil bro is still bad though, we spoil him too much. But he'll come around soon enough.

Oh, and it also depends on their age. I also want to point out that I've never been 'spanked'.

[Guardian]

Originally Posted by martyp

This is one of those threads where I wish that I were a member of the forum as an individual and not representing a company. I must always be aware of how anything I say can come back to bite me or the firm.

:shockingmonkey: Are you serious? To what extent are you talking about?

[awaite]

well I will just start off by saying I was spanked regularly and thank my mom for it b/c I think it gave me morals.....sometimes it is necessary but alot of the time getting down to their level and talking does the trick and there is a fine line between abuse and discipline ! No marks or bruises NO PROB ( that's what my mom says)

[martyp]

Originally Posted by Guardian

:shockingmonkey: Are you serious? To what extent are you talking about?

What I mean by that is simply that I significantly edit my comments and posts due to the very public nature of the internet. In the first place, I don't comment on many subjects because no matter what your position, it will offend somebody. Secondly, even though I like joking around with all of you and feel comfortable, I know that my posts are not restricted to the CFS forums. Just imagine someone Googles "kingofrocks.com" to get more info about the company, and amongst the results are posts on CFS that I've made (because the company name is in my sig, try it... a CFS link comes up third). Now just imagine that in that post I've been ranting about incapable parents or unsuitable home environments? Companies have endured PR nightmares and representatives have lost their jobs due exactly this sort of thing.

So, please don't take offense if I happen to reveal that my posts, as racy as they might appear, reflect only about 80% of the true Marty P. But they do reflect the good bits, not the opinionated, self-righteous bits.

[KrystalxStrange]

I think it's stupid. It doesn't work. The kid will most likely still do what they did before that got them the spanking in the first place. You could just talk to them instead. They are people also and will understand.