Restaurants Banning Kids-Agree Or Disagree?
Okay, I have to say that when I first heard about this I was appalled. How can you ban a child from a business establishment like a restaurant I asked myself? Isn’t this some form of discrimination?
I can see why some restaurant owners would consider doing this. They want to create a quiet, relaxing atmosphere for their customers and a screaming, kicking child at the next table is no way to do this.
I am a mom of three kids and I can honestly say that any establishment that would ban my kids WOULD NEVER see a single penny from me. I take it personally when someone would single out a child(who cannot speak for themselves) and ban them from a public place.
There are well-behaved and not so well-behaved children out there. Why ban ALL kids because of a few temper tantrums, etc? I think things should be dealt with on an individual basis. If there is a kid causing a disturbance, ask the parents to take them outside until they calm down, or create a little distraction like colouring sheets and crayons.
I know that if it was my kid causing a ruckus in public, I would immediately remove them from the situation. Kids will be kids and we have to be respectful of other people as well as our own children.
My view? There are many places you can go if you want to be child-free for an evening out. Banning innocent kids from business establishments is NOT the answer.
What are your thoughts on this issue?
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I have 4 kids, but when I only had the 3 boys, I remember going into a road-side diner one time and although there were only 4 other people (adults) in the restaurant, we were seated all the way on the other side of the restaurant. I wondered about this, but let it go. After all, the waitress would have to work extra to serve us as well.
After our meal, I went up to pay and the waitress apologized for seating us so far away (there were no windows and it was kind of gloomy in our neck of the restaurant) and complimented the three boys on being extremely well behaved.
I smiled and thanked her for the compliment. You see, my middle son is on the severe end of the Autism Spectrum and although he doesn’t talk, he can be quite noisy. We’ve walked out of so many restaurants because of his behaviour (and movie theatres, grocery stores, department stores, parks, indoor playgrounds etc.) While he couldn’t necessarily control his behaviour because he is highly over-sensitive to sound, we could control where his behaviour happened. That meal in that restaurant was one of the first times he was able to sit quietly and eat (because there was a cieling fan right above us that captivated him at the time).
My boys were 6,4 and 3 at the time and it was one of the most proudest parent moments I had.
I hate going into restaurants where kids are yelling and screaming, running all over the place. They need to learn how to appropriately behave in social settings, and if they struggle, someone has to be able to take them out for a walk outside or whatever to give the child a break. Sitting at a table for an hour can be excruciatingly long for a child and I think parents are setting their children up for failure if they don’t recognize when a break is needed and act on it.
Just my 2 cents anyway.
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Oh, I know I’ll probably get flack for this — but if you are having trouble controlling your kids in public, period, you need to get them home.
My mom described it like this – if she had taken us out and we were misbehaving, we’d get one chance to correct it. If we didn’t, we’d all pack-up and go home. Why? Punishment for sure for us kids, so we realized that our actions had consequences AND second, was that if we were *that* tired, was it fair to us to be wandering around all over the place? She did this with us in restaurants, grocery stores, on holidays as well. Luckily I learned quickly about this — but my brother was always pushing buttons. Mom would be shopping, and would leave a cart full of groceries in an aisle, apologize profusely and leave. She wasn’t going to have a kid of hers have a temper tantrum in the middle of a store and then have to ‘bargain’ with the kid. It was a waste of her time and it was embarrassing for her too!
I think most public places should be ‘adult-oriented’ (not meaning any sexy stuff but just behaviour wise) and that kids should be taught how to act in those environments. If they aren’t great in some situations, then get them home where they can have a nap, and then try again another time. But putting everyone else through that torturous behaviour is ridiculous. And I don’t mean wee babies crying because they’re upset — that crying doesn’t seem to bug me as much a child (like a 10 year old) who is just being a grumpypants because they can.
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We have 3 kids and enjoy going to a variety of restaurants as a family, not just fast food or kiddy places. When we do dine out, we make sure the conditions are optimal, i.e. they are not too tired or hungry, we bring entertainment (books, crayons, iPhone games), we choose a restaurant where the wait time is relatively short, etc. Our kids know how to behave in public places, we even get compliments from neighbouring tables. IMO, they learn how to behave with practice. The only time things went terribly wrong in spite of our planning, we asked for our food to go and left. Wish all parents would act this way!
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Obviously, if the place does not allow children, it will not be child friendly. You won’t take your children there anyways. This rule is fine in my opinion.
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Maybe they should just ban stupid parents who allow their kids to be obnoxious and think it’s cute or don’t supervise them in a public place.
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i think that bars and clubs are a restorount that children are not aloud in and thats enough for the people who dont want to be around children
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I agree with businesses on this, maybe not a full ban, maybe partial?After a certain time or have a separate section maybe? As adorable as kids can be, they can also be a complete nightmare !!
It does not have to be every restaurant either! Pubs allow kids in during mealtime too. Where else are you going to go for a quiet meal? Of course some children are very quiet and well behaved, but you also have very loud kids, kids that are in their ”but why!?!?” phase , tantrum children, messy children, arguing children. I realize that is all part of a parents life , and there is nothing wrong with that. However, sometimes some peace and quiet is great.
As for the kids not being able to speak for themselves..there are plenty of things kids don’t have a say in, I did not have a say in my bedtime, or in going to kindergarten. When my parents left me home when I wanted to go, or brought me when I did not want to go, I did not have a say and I turned out just fine.
The kids will not miss a restaurant they have never been to and might even look forward to a kid free dinner when they are old enough to enter.
They have adults only resorts and hotels, I do not see why it would be a bad idea to have adults only restaurants either!
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@ Vanessa
At the risk of sounding like an insensitive jacka$$, I think what you suggested is completely impractical. No restaurant employee in his/her right mind is going to deal with each situation on an individual basis not to mention the fact that the parents (and their kids) that get kicked out due to poor behavior will not leave willingly. Who is going to be the ultimate judge in determining what behavior is deemed acceptable and what isn’t? I’m certainly not signing up for that job. While you may be a fantastic parent who sets great examples for your kids, many others do not seem to be on the same wavelength at all. I personally know people (and their kids) that deliberately act like obnoxious fools when they go out as they feel they are paying good money for the right to have a good time and/or behave however they see fit. Unfortunately, people like this have ruined it for everyone else. For matters like this the rules can only be black and white, not grey.
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Erin:
Now there’s an idea that I like. Kidfree between 8pm and 1am. Parents would feel comfortable bringing their kids before that time and others would know for a fact that they will have an uninterupted meal after 8:00pm. Even 7:00pm would work.
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Sadly, Vanessa, there are wayyyy too many parents out there like the wine-sippers in Kelene Neitzel’s comment. No one wants to say anything for fear of being thought of as “insensitive, child-hating brutes”, meanwhile the only people enjoying themselves in the entire restaurant are the parents who are happily ignoring their own children.
I agree that these people are the minority of parents. MOST of us would remove their children from the situation or take them to the washroom and have a severe talk with our child about his/her behaviour. Unfortunately ONE neglectful parent can make a dining experience utter hell for an entire establishment full of people. I couldn’t even imagine being a part of the staff in a situation like that, but usually the owner of the place isn’t there and the staff aren’t comfortable or allowed to be making decisions like that.
It really is sad that a few parents ruin it for the others. I like the idea of having a kid free time (between 8pm and 1am). That makes a lot of sense too.
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I’m sorry, but I have to agree with the businesses on this one. This is not a case of discrimination. Businesses reserve the right to refuse service. The refusal must have a valid reason. Disruption of other patrons IS a valid reason. Yes, discipline of children SHOULD be left up to the parents. BUT, too many parents are NOT doing this. Doesn’t matter why. The fact is, way too many children are rude, unruly brats. I don’t allow my kids to run free and undisciplined in a public place. Unfortunately, not all parents take this view. So, because of this, the rest of us who DO control their children, will have dine and/or patronize a limited number of places that will accept kids. Not OUR fault, but still fair.
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I think it should be dealt with on an individual basis and not ban all kids just because some of them act-up.
Should we ban the elderly from Macdonalds because the kids want to have fun and get a little loud? No, of course not. We respect the rights of others, regardless of age, race, sex, etc.
I teach my kids to be quiet and respectful when they are in a restaurant. They are very well-behaved and if I ever had an issue where they did not behave, I would immediately remove them from the establishment. It’s just a form of respect. I respect the workers and other customers and in return I would like for them to respect my kids.
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Right or wrong, I agree that there should be only certain areas in a restaurant that children should be allowed. Waiting for the parents to discipline these unruly children just does not happen.
It wrecks the time out for all the other consumers.
Last evening we went to BP. There was a family with 3 young children. They were loud and very disruptive to all the other customers. The one got in the way of the staff many times causing near misses of trays been dumped on the floor. The other two were exercising their lungs at top capacity. Mom and Dad were sitting there drinking wine and enjoying their meal. and were engaged in a very one on one coversation with each other, with no regard to their three children, or even if they ate. I realize these children behave this way, because they are allowed to by their parents. But all the other patrons and the staff at the restaurant became their sitters, while mom and dad did their thing.
If the parents cant be responsible, then Yes indeed, family with small children should have their own section. So the rest of us hard working patrons can sit down and relax and enjoy our meal. Children of this new generation on the whole are unruly ,undisciplined and disrespectful. As the parents are too busy keeping up with the Jones to teach their children proper social manners. This is becoming a more regular occurence while trying to dine out.
I would love to have a place to go, where I knew I wouldn’t be disrupted by screaming, yelling disruptive little children holding the whole restaurant hostage to their behaviors.
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I definitely agree with this.
This is NO different than a Men’s club, a Women’s club, or even a Kid’s club.
I know of ALL sorts of contests, places, prizes, menu items, that single out people above a specific age but why not below?
Give a little bit of perspective to the issue. If you go out to a McDonald’s and you expect fine dining, quiet children and a calm atmosphere, GO SOMEWHERE ELSE lol because this is a kid friendly, family friendly establishment! Kids are gonna cry, scream, and put their sticky little hands all over the place and thats perfectly fine considering, you’re in a McDonalds!
(I, personally, HATE when adults get snippy with kids/kids’ parents inside a place like McDs, or Burger King and yes, I’ve seen it… especially over noise/playing.. its ridiculous! Kids should be allowed to be kids, especially in these types of establishments)
Now, if I wanted a nice adult evening, I’d LOVE to have the option of going somewhere without kids. What if you wanted to get away from your own kids just for the night? So you hire a baby sitter and get someone else to look after them only to go to a restuarant where kids are screaming and running everywhere. This seems counter productive.
Let’s face it, they banned “kids” because we couldn’t simply ban “deliquent parents who dont look after their kids in public”
If we could ban the latter, that would obviously be more… accurate.
In short, I see nothing wrong with this practise. There are all sorts of clubs/bars/restaurants that have age limits, gender restrictions, dress codes etc… Why not a no kids rule in some places? If you feel morally obligated not to partake in their product, hey thats your choice :)
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I am soooo sick of hearing about the rights that parents have to take their children anywhere they like. I have 2 boys. My eldest was HORRIBLE in a restaurant. We finally stopped taking him anywhere that didn’t have a separate “playroom” until he was 10 or 11. I’m not saying that parents should have to stay home and dine until their children reach the age of reason, I’m just saying that there is a place for everything. A fine dining establishment that caters to adults is NOT the place for your screaming toddler.
Now that my kids aren’t screaming toddlers anymore (they’ve evolved into whiny teenagers), I don’t see why I have to sit in a restaurant with someone’s screaming baby while the parent either encourages them to act up or smiles embarrassingly and acts like there is no solution to the problem. If you can’t or won’t correct your child’s naughty behaviour, don’t expect the rest of us to sit their quietly and say nothing about it. We are paying a pretty penny to go out and enjoy ourselves for an evening. This is not the entertainment that we are looking for.
You are right too, though. You have no obligation to spend one penny in an establishment that doesn’t accept your kids. When I want to take my kids out, I won’t take them to a place where they aren’t wanted. When I want to go out without my kids (or anyone else’s) I’ll go to an adults-only place. If I want a burger, I’ll go to a burger place. If I want a steak, I’ll go to a steak house. It’s not rocket science folks!
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Honestly, there shouldn’t be that much of a debate over this. Many high end establishments are not kid friendly whatsoever. For that matter, many of the same places have a dress code too. There is nothing wrong with this IMHO. Why some parents feel they are entitled to push the envelope and bring their precious, over coddled princes and princesses to dinner simply because they feel they have the right to do so just defies common sense. “No, MY kids don’t behave like that!” Bottomline, it isn’t fair to the other patrons, the wait staff (who have to clean up all the mess without being properly compensated to do so) and the restaurant itself since they can’t really take a stand on the matter for obvious reasons (not to mention the fact that young kids generally do not order anything substantial). Perhaps, this is why many restaurants have imposed a min charge instead of banning kids outright. If your kids are going to create a big ruckus (and perhaps alienate some customers in the process), make a complete mess of everything, take up valuable space while not ordering anything, then you will still have to pay. If things get completely out of control, I feel the business has the right to hand you your check early and pack up your food to go. If any adult patron were to behave in the same fashion (while resisting all attempts to restore order), he/she would be escorted off the premises by the police. People, I get the fact that you can’t leave you kids alone for two seconds, that you believe your kids are special and won’t cause a scene, but you’re simply wrong. Why not make your lives (and everyone elses too) a little more enjoyable and simply get a baby sitter for those special nights out? Your kids will survive the trauma of not being right by your side for a couple of hours.
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I am always shocked at issues of inequality.
Whenever any one group is singled out, I always wonder how would people react if the group in question was swapped with another group… i.e.
instead of ” no kids allowed” what if a restaurant had a sign that said “no blacks allowed”, “no women allowed”, “no single diners allowed” or “no handicapped allowed”? It makes you think doesn’t it?
I believe it is up to the parents and the management to police individual cases… my kids are kids and if we go out to a family restaurant, they may make a little bit of noise or drop a spoon or some food… you just give a little bit of a bigger tip and move on…
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I agree. Ban the kids!!
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I think non-kid restaurants are a great idea.
First, restaurants are not public places. They are private business establishments. It’s not a human right to be allowed in every food establishment so there is no issue with banning kids.
Second, though I adore children, I have seen enough tantrums and disturbances in restaurants to last me a lifetime. Rarely do the parents do anything. It’s as if they think letting the kid cry it out is appropriate or will help them learn. Or they are selfish enough to just think they don’t want to deal with it now.
If a kid gets fussy in a restaurant – even a family restaurant – they should be immediately removed. That is not only best for the rest of the patrons but for the kid to learn how one should act in public.
I would frequent a no-kids restaurant far more than a family one. And so would most of my friends who are parents and want a break from kids.
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Why is this necessary? There are already establishments that don’t allow kids, they are called pubs! It does seem discriminating to me. You money is good enough for our establishment as long as you don’t have any kids with you!! If my husband and I get a night out without our son, we often choose to go to a pub because it’s something we couldn’t otherwise do. I think this is plain silly. And as a mom, before taking my child out to any restaurant I am already think of which one is the most child friendly to keep him entertained while he is waiting for food. Do they have crayons etc etc…
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sorry meant to write stippers ;-)
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I kinda agree with it. You want to go out with hubby. Your paying for a sitter, and have a night out!. (wow a night out, okay back to my comment) You want to enjoy each others company just the two of you. So you go to a nice resturant, wine, great food, and a family that can afford a nice resturant, the resturant you planned to dine (kid free) at all week, they get seated beside you, or behind you, with their not so quiet kids. Ugh~ What is wrong for setting aside a few resturants, (or even a time, like 8pm-1am no kids) for those very few special nights. I would so go to that resturant! I love kids, but there are many of resturants that they can dine at. Just a few adult ones with no porn would be sweet!
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If you have no control of your children then keep them away from most restaurants.Nothing worse than a group of children paying tag in a restaurant.
Also if the establishment is a lounge/pub where the primary business licence is not just serving food keep them out of that establishment.
I have seen parents give their child a sip of alcohol,and then the child wants more.
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I would not want to head out for dinner only to find that no children are allowed inside, however they are private businesses and have the right to choose their clientelle. If they serve alcohol especially, it would be simple to state that no minors are allowed. I have 3 kids, 2 of which who were horrible diners. I did not take them to larger restaurants very often because I did not want to torture fellow patrons. I work in childcare, have one child who was awesome in restaurants (he enjoys food while the other 2 are very picky and dont care to sit and eat for an hour or more), and know that even trying hard to keep them calm does not work with them in a busy restaurant. I choose not to take them – while many others do not. i have had people’s children actually crash into me while trying to eat at a place that was $50 a plate! That is not what I want to deal with. I can choose to leave, it’s not a right to go out to a restaurant for anyone but it IS the right for a restaurant owner to be able to choose it’s patrons and then deal with the fall-out from that decision. They may gain business, or they may lose business – it’s up to them to decide what to do with their own money and their own establishment. If they were forced to take children against their wishes, where do the rights of being a business owner come in? There are airlines thinking of making some child-free flights for similar reasons. If they all became child free, they know they would face huge profit losses so that’s not going to happen. But there are many family restaurants to choose from so it’s not like all of them are going to be child-free.
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I agree some of the restaurants children should not be allowed – we want some quiet times when we go out -= if parents cannot look after there children and let them carry on let them do it at their home we don’t want to hear them.
We had to keep our children in line so should they and not subject other folks to their bad upbringing. Also in grocery stores etc.
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It sounds like you have great kids and immediately take action to calm things down when they’re fussy or cranky. Unfortunately, a small number of parents who aren’t so proactive have ruined the privilege of dining out for many. I don’t have a problem with children (noisy or not) at any family-type restaurants – they’re in the right environment. What I do object to is the constant ignored shrieking while at a fine dining establishment. I honestly don’t have a lot of extra cash to go out to expensive restaurants that often and when I do, I want it to be a pleasurable experience. Many times it isn’t. Just the other day at a lovely French restaurant during lunch I couldn’t carry on a conversation with my friends because of the screaming and commotion at a table nearby. The parents placed all their children at a separate table and let them make noise and carry on while they enjoyed some freedom at their own table. So $160 later, my 2 friends and I gathered up our things and called it quits. Unfortunately, one of them is in a wheelchair, so we don’t get to do this very often.
Another time was at a very posh steakhouse for dinner. The children at the next table would clearly have enjoyed a good burger joint much more than this establishment. The parents, in their quest to teach their unrestricted brats how to dine out in public without much direction spoiled the ambience for everyone within hearing distance. I haven’t been back there for more than a year even though the food is magnificent.
So I definitely support banning children at some restaurants because not all parents are as thoughtful as you are. They hear the loud ruckus all the time and it’s so easy to tune it out, even if it’s done inadvertently.
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I can understand some restaurants beeing set aside just for adults, when our children are young, we have tons of restaurants geared for families, entertainment for families, there is nothing wrong with , once your family has grown to have places you can go with just adults, it does not mean Children are not appreciated, it just menas older people should have options too. a quiet dinner our out with friend should not be considered something against families or children out
Love our kids and their kids, we go to all kinds of places with them but sometimes it is adult time.. should be understood..Adults are people too
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